Quest for Happiness - The FTA Approach

How to Find Love in Your Life!

2012-02-28T10:35:00.000-08:00

February is the monthdedicated to love. Valentine’s day, the 14th in particular is given attentionworldwide for showering love, roses, chocolates, cards, candlelight dinners and/orgifts of every kind imaginable on a loved one. Romantic love is in the air! Butwhat of other kinds of love- family love, caring for one’s neighbor, the earthwe live on, the stranger and the poor? How do we find love and give love?

In my own life, during thisvery month which is coming quickly to a close, I have experienced the kind oflove that is inspirational! Adying father tended to lovingly and gently by his family. A blended family withchildren from different marriages learns how to cope because they love the onethat brought them together. We witnessed the sense of humor, the patience, theability to face death with peace and serenity with an underlying deepspirituality. Such a gift provided the family with the ability to be gentle andcompassionate with each other. Friendships formed will continue because of thisshared experience. The legacy of that gentle man is one of love that will liveon in the hearts of all who spent such a short but valuable time with him.

Need I say more about thepower of love?

Until the next time, beloving and loved,

Bride

A Fresh Start in 2012

2012-01-19T06:20:00.000-08:00

During this year of 2012, what will be envisioned, created, discovered and destroyed? We are given the opportunity to begin anew, to open a blank page and write our script. Many of us would love to erase actions that we are not proud of and have them forgotten by others who witnessed them. However, we know that is unlikely but we can make a resolution to reflect on how we can be happier and joyful people, considerate of others and willing to be helpful and kind in our own little world, as well as succeed in our careers.

Consider your life, its relationships and the challenges as well as the joys you experience. Are you content with how your life is at present? What do you want differently? Have you thought about how you would change your life?

One suggestion is to focus on SIX major areas of your life to determine whether you are content or discontented. Evaluate using a scale of 1- 10, with 1 being totally dissatisfied and 10 being totally satisfied. I suggest these:

1.    Family relationships
2.    Financial
3.    Health- physical, emotional, spiritual and mental
4.    Career
5.    Social
6.    Personal time

You may want to add or subtract from these categories. First, focus on the one that is worrying you. Is it your personal or professional relationship that gives you sleepless nights? Your finances? Your physical health? Your work load?

Next, identify it or them and ponder what you want to do, how you can do it and who can help you do it? For example, do you want to be healthier and more active physically? Examine what physical activity you enjoy, such as walking, swimming, biking, dancing, skiing, or anything else you have fun doing. Where can you fit it in your daily or weekly schedule, where and when you can exercise and if someone can join you or help you?

If it’s a personal or professional challenge,

A.    Is stress the biggest factor?
One way that helps me is to take time and listen to one of my Relaxation Techniques. When you buy my book, Quest for Happiness, you will receive a free copy of the CD of Relaxation Techniques. To give you a taste of what the CD contains, I am giving you a FREE audio of the Relaxation Technique called The Peaceful Valley. The link is found at the end of this article.

B.    Can you identify what is your biggest challenge in one of your significant relationships? As you can gather, there are no simple and easy solutions. When you are willing to tackle it, look around to see if someone you trust can be of assistance to find the way out of your dilemma. If not, check out agencies, even the internet to find the help you need.

In the meantime, check out my book, Quest for Happiness on Amazon.ca. Just visit http://www.amazon.ca/Happiness-Handling-Difficult-Relationships-Approach/dp/1926689127 to place your order. This GPS of Relationships which evolved out of the need to help clients in their relationship difficulties is a road map to empower you to find happiness and a fulfilling life of joy and peace. An accompanying CD of Relaxation Techniques will enable you to cope with the stress of your situation. Should you need to contact me, that information will be included when you purchase the book.

As I promised above, this is the link for the FREE audio of The Peaceful Valley. Please visit http://harborofhappiness.com/pages/freeproduct.html and enter your information to receive it. Please feel free to send me your comments and how you felt after listening to it. I realize that it is a short term solution but it is an effective one. I know because I have tried it many times. My readers have told me also.

In closing, please comment on this or past blogs. Some people have indicated that they are unable to do this. Simply go to https://accounts.google.com/NewAccount and follow the instructions, then come back here to my blog to comment.

Remember as I said in the beginning, we are taking a fresh look at our lives with the hope that 2012 will be one of joy and happiness based on what we plan to do to attain that goal.

Until next time,
Be at peace.

Bride

The Gift of Gratitude

2011-12-13T10:34:00.000-08:00


"Maintain a state of gratitude and awe. Gratitude is the surest way to stop the incessant inner dialogue that leads you away from the joy and perfection of the Source." ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer, The Power of Intention, Perpetual Calendar, December 12th

As I reflect on the past twelve months of 2011, gratitude wells up within me. Despite the many crisis and tragedies I see and hear about in the media, my little part of the universe is safe, peaceful and flourishing. However, even here events happen that compel me to sit back and ponder the life I live and how busy I can be, to the detriment of my health. Just recently I learned that several of my friends have serious health problems. I realize that I am very grateful for good health.

As I take the time to upon my good fortune, I feel compelled to draw up a gift list. I realize that I often take for granted that I am living in a peaceful place, with plenty of food, accommodations and all that is necessary to live a quality life. High on this list: a loving family and faithful friends.

Because the basics of life are provided, actually more than that, I am free to ponder how I can enrich my life and the lives of those I trust. In reading the reflection for December 12th, by Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance, I am deeply touched by her version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

She begins:
“On the first day of Christmas, I gave my true loves:
The gift of my Undivided Attention
On the second…the gift of Enthusiasm”

I'd highly recommend that you find a copy of this book to read about the other ten days. On her website you will learn of her workshops on the Six Graces- the first is gratitude and how she weaves that quality through the other five. Her song, ‘All We Have is All We Need” can be heard there as well.

One of my goals for the New Year is to choose a quality for each month. Gratitude will be for January. February is known for its focus on Love. During that month, I can continue my gratitude as I focus on my loves for this beautiful Earth, Nature and all the wonderful people and things in my life.

Other qualities I can focus on throughout the year are happiness, laughter, peace, hope and compassion. As Sarah uses in her Six Graces, I can also include order, simplicity, harmony, beauty and joy. Throughout them all, I will weave gratitude.

One of the reasons I wrote Quest for Happiness was to help those who needed support to find happiness, peace and joy in their lives. So let us explore together who we are and how we can create a wonderful world for ourselves and our loved ones.

How about you? What will you give your attention to during 2012?

Happy New Year!

Blessings and peace,

Bride

Transitions

2011-11-05T07:10:00.000-07:00

Transitions

Is this what I have to anticipate as winter approaches?
Nature stripping leaves off hardwood trees
And shaving carpet green off fields?
No colour or brightness?
Just dying and darkness?

What does this mean?
Where have the hues of summer indigo gone?
So too the autumn leaves of gold, rust, orange and brown!

Is my life like that?
What does it mean?
Memories of sunlight and splendor have given way to
Dullness and drabness.

Where is the hope?
The dying inevitable
The decaying quite visible
The life once vibrant,
Fading, fading, fading.

As I grow older, is this what I must experience –
Even choose?

Ugh! That is not my reality!
The shift happens;
Just as the seasons come and go
So too the ebb and flow of life!

Watching the waves
On a dreary November day
Gives hope and energy to
Step forward
Face the winds of change.

Rejoice! Weary November finally ends.
Winter white wraps of sparkling diamonds in the sun
Lifts my spirit
Lifts the corners of my mouth!
Brightness, joy and hope fill my heart
As I journey onward!

How do we handle changes in our lives? The poem above reflects on this question as we watch autumn fade and winter sneak upon us.

In my own life, I celebrated a 65th milestone in September. What I noticed since then was a physical shift within, especially on the emotional level; joy mixed with sadness, peace with anxiety and fear with hope and brightness of spirit!

When reviewing my blog entries for last year, I noticed how in November I had written a poem called Letting Go. I refer to it here because it reminds me of the wisdom of reflecting on that very issue. What do I need to let go off at this point in my life?

Both “Transitions” and “Letting Go” are aspects of my journey in wisdom and love. Sometimes though, those changes are painful and unsettling. I realize that like nature at this time in a barren, cold and dreary setting I have to cultivate patience and honor the process that is taking place within. Taking time to mull over the mixed feelings and the changing events in my life will be beneficial to me and those I love. Sometimes just staying with the process helps me gain peace and tranquility and the wisdom to make any decisions regarding those events.

I am learning how important it is to listen to the inner voice, trust my intuition and share my new found wisdom with those who continue to seek the truth and purpose in life.

Reflect on a milestone in your life. How did you handle it? What did you learn about yourself?

Until next time, happy fall and happy journeying,

Bride

Finding the Sunshine Within

2011-09-24T06:10:00.000-07:00

"Unconditional love is not the hole in us that receives the dirt, but the sun within that never stops shining." ~ Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening, September 20th

As the first day of autumn approaches, we tend to reflect on how our summer has been. Spending time in sun filled days leisurely enjoying holidays with family and friends have come to an end. For some people, November month, especially, speaks of dreary days when Nature strips the trees of its leaves and shaves the ground of its carpet of green. Sunshine is absent in their lives. Is this your experience? How do you find the sunshine within when all seems dowdy and colorless?

Mark Nepo reflects for us on what he understands as unconditional love. Basically, it means accepting the flaws in each other but not the flawed behavior. We can change the latter. He is grateful to have a chance to work on himself. In so doing, he says it bring him and the other closer.

I am fascinated by his statement that “unconditional love is not the hole in us that receives the dirt but the sun within that never stops shining.” What is the “hole in us” and what is the “dirt” to which he is referring? Is the hole the woundedness we experience when people hurt us? Is the dirt that of harsh words, even violent words that we swallow from others, finally festering within our souls? That type of “unconditional love” is what Mark fears “has been misconstrued as an extreme form of ‘turning the other cheek’ which to anyone who has been abused in not good advice.” He calls it exaggerated passivity which differs from ‘real’ unconditional love.

What comes to mind with the second part of his statement is the juxtaposing of love with the sun. What do they have in common?

When we think of love, we feel warmth, joy, comfort and a feeling of closeness to another human being. For it to be unconditional, love looks out for the other in an altruistic way that is for the good of the other. However, it does not mean taking abuse from the other or not getting your needs met. As Mark writes, we see and accept the flawed in each other but challenge in a loving way the behavior that we can change.

The sun, in turn, spreads heat, warmth and light to our world. It can give comfort to those feeling down and needing sunlight in their lives.

But how do we find the sunshine within? What does that mean? If we in caring for another know how to give unconditional love, what of giving it to ourselves? Unless we experience love, we cannot give love. We can feel the sun on our bodies but coupling it with unconditional love is not necessarily many people’s experience.

In my own experience, finding the sunshine within means taking the time to stop and recall the gifts in my life. When I’m feeling low and sad, finding the sunshine within means reaching inward for peace, kindness and love that is stored. Having compassion and forgiveness for myself and the other are aspects of the sun within. Remembering that symbol can be comforting at times when we need it.

As you reflect on this time in your life, be it autumn or some other season; look within to find the sun shining.

Until next time, be at peace,

Bride

Take Time to Smile

2011-08-25T06:21:00.001-07:00

Last Sunday as I went for a walk with my sister-in-law in cottage country, we noticed that the four bigger rocks clustered together along the side of the road had happy faces on them. When we first noticed them, we laughed out loud. Then we made a game of it to see how many more rocks contained this art work! While I didn’t think to count the number of stones, there were enough to make us quicken our journey over the gravel road. It set me thinking that the unknown artist had a streak of humor in his/her soul and wanted to spread the good news of taking time to smile. That is what I want to do here as well!

Often life is so serious for all of us, especially in troubled times or crisis moments, that we forget to use humor to relieve the stress we experience. I certainly do not intend to downplay these hard times, but I am reminding myself as well as you, that we need to take time out to stop and ponder something that will make us smile. It could be a spectacular sunset, the chirping of a blue jay or even the smile of a concerned friend or family member.

Swami Beyondananda, alias Steve Bhaerman, the Cosmic Comic in his teleseminar last week humorously poked fun at how serious we are. He pointed out that when someone talked of being interested in having a serious relationship, he asked them, “What’s the matter with having a fun relationship?” Doesn’t it make you stop and smile?

What events, people or stories make you smile? One such experience comes to mind in my own life. Last year, John, my husband, and I travelled to another city to visit a specialist who told us a biopsy was needed to check for cancer. John had had this biopsy done several times and each time, he was diagnosed cancer free.

Hence as the fourth time approached, I asked him, “John, when are you having your autopsy test?”

His reply was, “Bride, I’m not dead, yet!” Both of us laughed heartily; actually, I laughed so hard I cried!

As you can see, a very serious topic and yet, with a slip of the tongue, we couldn’t help but laugh!

By the way, the results of the biopsy were negative; we were very thankful and happy- another reason to smile!

Here is another example to make you smile. I have shared many wonderful (as well as hard time) experiences with two friends, Rita and Jean. Jean has a habit of mixing up expressions. Because Rita and I have been friends longer than we’ve known Jean, she once remarked that we were ‘two birds in a pod.’ At the time, Rita and I looked at each other with a puzzled look on our faces. We exclaimed together, “There’s something not right about that expression.” When it dawned on us, we burst into laughter. Now it was Jean’s turn to look confused until we explained that the correct expression is that we’re like ‘two peas in a pod .’ Then she joined in our laughter.

Feel free to share with me your humorous stories.

Remember ‘smile and the world smiles with you’ because a smile is contagious. After all, in the word, smiles, there is a mile between the two S’s.

Smile and be at peace,

Bride

Happiness Revisited - Part II

2011-08-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

In my last blog entry, I asked if you had a definition for happiness. You can find my definition in the Introduction of my book, Quest for Happiness. I am now adding that happiness, for me, is being of service to others. There is a drive and passion in me to help others.

Just recently I began working with prisoners on Effective Communication Skills. The correctional officers at the facility even remarked how beneficial a course this would be for them as well. What came through loud and clear is the need to learn the skill of ‘saying what you mean’ and ‘meaning what you say’ and I add, doing it in an appropriate manner.

In my discussions with these participants, it is evident how dream of happiness underlie their every action. Oftentimes, in their cases, the end result is not the joy of happiness but the pain of incarceration! They often seek happiness in drugs, alcohol and violence - reacting in a similar manner to what, often, is their parents’ dysfunctional behavior. And so the cycle of dysfunctionality continues.

To get an idea of what I mean by dysfunctional behavior, read Chapter Six, Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships in my book Quest for Happiness. Here I discuss the qualities of both a good relationship and an unhealthy one. All of us, no matter the type of relationship we are in, can always learn something new about communication.

With regard to these incarcerated men, I taught them the FTA Approach to begin the whole process of good communication. Helping them come to an awareness that they need to acknowledge their feelings first, is a very basic and important step in the process. Most often reacting in anger, which is moving from F-feelings to A- action, is their biggest problem. By stopping after the feelings to T - think they learn to respond in A-action, appropriately. Their usual manner of reacting begins with getting angry and then punching out the person with whom they have the disagreement, often accompanied by violent angry words. The FTA Approach teaches them (and us) to respond rather than react to a negative situation.

In this course, I also taught them how to use “I” language, hone listening skills, resolve conflict and develop good communication strategies. Each one of these topics needs a full chapter in any book written on communication. As you realize, I cannot do justice to such important topics here. However, in future blogs, I will reference aspects of these important strategies for effective communication. Check Chapter Seven, Strategies for Success, of my book, Quest for Happiness, where I touch on these topics. In case you weren't aware, my book is available for purchase on Amazon. Please visit this link for more information: http://www.amazon.ca/Happiness-Handling-Difficult-Relationships-Approach/dp/1926689127

Stay tuned to another discussion on the importance of effective communication in all our relationships- whether at work or at home and all places in between!

Feel free to comment on any of my musings. I look forward to hearing from you,

Until then, be at peace and smile.

Bride

Happiness Revisited

2011-07-29T06:56:00.001-07:00

It seems fitting at this time to revisit the theme of happiness, especially now that I’ve been publishing The Quest for Happiness Daily on Twitter. Here, I gather contributing articles pertaining to the theme of happiness. I am fascinated by the number of articles and the types of professionals writing about this topic.

In the American Bill of Rights, one of the founding statements is the right of each individual to ‘pursue happiness.’ It doesn’t define how this is done. Each individual can flesh that out according to his or her own needs, goals and dreams.

As you reflect on your life, how important is happiness to you? What is your definition of happiness? In what stage of life are you? Do you have time to stop the fast treadmill of life and ask yourself these questions? What about your family members? Are they interested in pursuing happiness as well?

In his book, Spiritual Liberation, Michael Bernard Beckwith addresses this topic of happiness. He calls it the 4 C’s of happiness; conversation, company, challenges and commitment. He calls them “causes” and the way in which they change the contents of our consciousness “effects.”

I will only comment on the first one, conversation, as it relates to my past couple of blogs on effective communication.

Beckwith asks the question: “Is your conversation one of vibrational heaven or hell?” To put it another way, the words you speak can send out vibrations of good or bad. Also, what is of importance are the kinds of conversations you have with yourself. If they are negative, they affect not only you but all you come in contact with. Whereas when you are positive, you send out the vibrations of happiness, compassion and encouragement. Try it and see.

To illustrate this important issue, I again refer you to Dr. Masaru Emoto in his book, The True Power of Water and his experiments with water. When “thank you” or “well done” are breathed on it, beautiful crystals form. However, when such words as “you fool” or “no good”, deformed crystals appear.

As you can see, it’s important to be aware of how we communicate to those in our world. It can mean happiness or unhappiness to our loved ones.

Just recently, this theme of happiness was discussed at the United Nations where a draft resolution, Happiness toward a Holistic Approach to Development, came to the floor. The purpose of the resolution is “to give more importance to happiness and well being in determining how to achieve and measure social and economic development.” Because the country of Bhutan uses the gross national happiness (GNP) rather than the gross domestic product (GDP) to measure success, the Bhutan representative spoke to support this resolution. It was adopted without a vote. In September, Bhutan will convene a panel to discuss this issue at the next General Assembly. Isn’t that amazing? Who would have thought happiness is so important? Especially the UN!

As you know, in my opinion, it is definitely worth time and reflection. I’ve even written a book about it, and welcome you to discover Quest For Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach. May your journey to happiness be paramount in your life!

Until next time, find peace and joy as you continue your quest!

Bride

Effective Communication Secrets, Part II

2011-06-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

In our world where we are bombarded by information through TV, radio, billboard ads, Facebook and Twitter, communicating effectively is still an issue for all of us. Stories abound how we mis communicate through violent words and actions. Certain types of non-verbal body language are seen as doing harm to another. Foul language is taken for granted, spewing out on oneself and any one else in the way.

The secret I want to discuss here is one that seems to be forgotten by society today- in stores, on the street and in the home. It is the three fold magic words of ‘Please, Thank You and You’re Welcome.’ The underlying quality of all three is respect. Unless we respect ourselves, we cannot respect others. Children do what they see. If they are not taught how to show respect for themselves and others, they will not learn and apply it in their daily lives.

What’s the big deal? You may ask. These magic words convey a gentleness and respect that becomes evident to the one listening. It implies that the speaker has taken time to think before responding to the situation. Wherever you go, are you polite and do you respond with a smile? As I reflect on this, it makes me pause and consider my own actions and reactions to situations that arise in my life.

Remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would wish them to do to you.” Oftentimes, it’s seems to be, to do unto others as they do to you. It’s very easy to react to negative situations in a negative manner.

Let’s become aware of how positively or negatively we communicate with others. Let’s use those magic words to create a positive effect in our lives. Notice how the ripples will help you and others smile and spread peace!

Keep the secret going, please!

Thanks for doing it!

Bride

Effective Communication Secrets: Part I

2011-05-31T09:07:00.001-07:00

In my last blog entry, I discussed one secret to a successful life. As you can see by this title, I’m continuing the theme of secrets- this time in the field of communication. For the past several weeks, I have been facilitating workshops on this issue. The basis for these sessions is “Strategies for Success,” Chapter Seven of my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach.

As I research the topic of communication, I realize how multifaceted and how important it is. While I focused on four major ones, each of these can be broken down into a series of topics that also needs to be addressed. I discuss how to:

- use “I” language

- apply 8 tips to resolve conflict

- practice 7 techniques of listening skills

- master 6 strategies to communicate effectively.

One big concept that often gets overlooked is the effect that words have on us and the other person. Awareness of the kinds of words we use is evidently overlooked by a large number of the population. Take the phrase, ‘fighting for peace’ as an example. When we use the word, fight, immediately we are in competition with rather than in cooperation and community. The images of swords or guns come to mind immediately. It is a violent word. If we are advocates for peace, we need to look at how peaceful we really are. What kinds of words are we really using?

One of the biggest signs today for me is how easily foul language is used, especially among young people. Use of such words as stupid, air head, nerd, and other less desirable words clearly portray a lack of respect for the speaker and especially for the listener.

How do we make others aware of the types of words used? First, we begin by listening to ourselves as we communicate with the significant people in our lives. Remember, we can only change how we behave. We may try to change others but unless our behavior changes, nothing will happen.

Think of tossing a pebble in a clear pool of water. Notice the ripples. Likewise only when we change our thinking and subsequently our behavior will that be a catalyst to facilitate change. Our kind and respectful words will have a ripple effect on others. As you know, a smile impacts another person positively. Words do this as well. Try it.

Experiments have been done on how frozen water crystals react when positive words, such as “Thank you,” are pasted on the bottle or breathed over it. The symmetry and beauty of the water crystals are breathtaking. However, when negative words or phrases are used, such as “You are stupid,’ the crystals become distorted and ugly. View the photos of Dr. Masaru Emoto in his book, The Hidden Messages in Water, published in 1999. He succeeded in photographing the frozen water crystals in 1994, the first water crystal picture ever taken. They portray both the positive and negative effects that words have on the crystals.

If using negative words can produce that in water, how much more, then, do they have a negative influence on the human being both emotionally, mentally, spiritually and socially. After all, we are 90% water!

Keep in mind, especially if you are parents, that what you role model will be imitated by your child. Mirror good behavior and they will mirror it back. But this happens no matter where you are whether at home, at work and other places you visit, and to everyone you meet. Try an experiment to see what happens when you smile or speak positively to someone as opposed to glaring at them and complaining.

A good place to experiment is at the grocery store where you can be pleasant to the cashier. Notice when you are in line at the movies or video store or wherever how people greet each other and how they react.

Notice the words on billboards, on TV, when you’re in the mall or riding the bus or train, on an airplane. Be aware, in this information driven society, how well or badly we communicate.

The secret is to become aware of the words we use to communicate how we feel and express our needs to our families and friends. Make our words positive and uplifting so as to spread love and peace in your world. This will have a ripple effect on all you meet.

You then say to me: "but I am only one person, what effect can I have?" I remind you that Mother Teresa said, “We sometimes feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”

Be positive and hopeful! I am!

Remember to check out Chapter Seven of my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach.

Until next time, when I discuss part 2 of communication secrets, practice the secret of ‘word’ awareness and let me know how it affects your daily living.

Peace and joy,

Bride

One Secret to a Successful Life

2011-04-24T11:36:00.001-07:00

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? ~Mary Oliver

Does that question cause you to stop and think? Get you excited? Do you see yourself living a wild and precious life? If not, what is holding you back? Is it fear of the unknown, of what people will say about you?

Let’s explore fear, its causes and consequences. Then I shall reveal the secret to a successful life. Are you tempted to scroll down and find the answer? It is tempting, isn’t it?

Fear is the driving engine of many people in this world.

Unfortunately, this is a reality. Greed is a close second. The only other emotion that can wipe out both is love.

In my blog entry on “Self Awareness” I touched briefly on the effects of fear on our lives. There I noted how it affects the body, mind and spirit. In our bodily system, it is a natural response to a perceived danger, a threat to our well being. Deep inside us is the basic need for safety and security.

While it is a negative emotion, its benefit is to protect us when danger is near. If we lived in a war torn country, we can understand why it lives and breathes in our daily lives. However, for many of us, we are in no danger.

Recently (and coincidentally), I was asked, “What do I need to look at if I’m afraid to succeed?” Let’s explore how fear paralyzes us.

We fear pain, either emotional or physical or both, depending on the circumstances. The need to relieve pain can force us to resort to drugs, alcohol or compulsive eating. Anything to make us feel better. Note how often this topic is discussed in books and on TV.

We fear losing loved ones, be they human or animal. A mother caring for her sick child will forget to eat and care for herself in order to protect and care for her beloved family. Stories abound testifying to the sacrifices and love demonstrated in great acts of heroism.

We fear sickness, whether it is of the body, the mind or the emotions. The fear of returning cancer is very real in today’s world. Mental and emotional illnesses are still being explored and researched to find ways to remedy the effects of each. Is it hereditary or is it the environment that causes it? Scientists are still probing the causes.

We fear opposition and misunderstanding especially in our significant relationships both personal and professional. Our feelings are hurt if our ideas are frowned upon or laughed at. When we try to communicate we are misunderstood.

We fear failure and often think it will be a devastating experience. Common sense and experience tell us that this is not so. Yet the feeling can persist forcing us to take a closer look at what is behind all this.

Ultimately, we fear growing old and dying. Sometimes thinking of both causes us to ponder the question, “How can I make my life meaningful, worthwhile and beneficial to the people in my life? Or, as Mary Oliver asked, “what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

When we look at the reasons for our fears and identify them, we can then explore ways to eradicate or lessen the fear and become not paralyzed, but free.

Choosing self-preservation is not necessarily choosing life. We may need to step into what we fear and, in so doing, disperse the hold fear has on us.

The secret is to trust, in oneself and the universe that we know in our inmost being what it takes to live a wonderful, precious and successful life. Courage follows trust because there are times when we have to risk life and limb, so to speak, to conquer fear and move ahead to realize the plans to begin living a rich and fulfilled life.

We may come to realize that in facing our pain, health will be the result. That in facing death, we choose life. That in accepting that we have done all we can and our ways of seeing have failed, we dare to step into the void.

As Melodie Beattie advises in her book, Journey To The Heart,
"Climb over the wall of fear.

Gently face your fears one at a time as they arise." (P.114-115)

In so doing, as we become aware of the particular one, we acknowledge what we are feeling. Dialogue with it. Trust and courage will follow to release this negative energy. Joy comes as it floats away. It becomes a wisdom step for us to think and see in new ways. How exciting it is to feel free and light hearted, as a result!

In an upcoming blog entry, I will be discussing another secret to success. A hint for you to get an inside track is to read my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach. Stay tuned and please feel free to leave a comment here on what you would like to have discussed.

May you continue to explore your wild and precious life.

Until the next time,

Bride

Spring Awakening

2011-03-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

Let the birds come and

Fill the air with singing.

Invite the flowers

To raise their golden heads and

Smile at us!

Fill the garden of our hearts

With joy and light and love!

Are you tired and worn out after the long winter? Now that Spring is officially here, are you longing for the warm and sunny weather? Am I echoing your thoughts in the poem above?

On March 29^th, I will be giving a seminar on this very topic as a lead into doing more seminars based on my book, Quest for Happiness. This one hour introduction will help the participants focus on taking time to stop their busy lives and identify a fun activity that they enjoy doing. It could be an outdoor sport, an art project, gardening, golfing, dancing, and weaving mats or a craft of some sort. I find that sometimes people are surprised to learn that even naming some activity is an eye opener because we do things and fail to realize the gifts or talents we have until someone points it out to us.

Another point I want to make at the seminar is that we must take time to relax. This is so important for our emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well being. Our bodies try to get us to listen but so often we don’t and wind up with a flu or a bad cold. Then we have no choice but to stop. Our immune system gets run down and we are not capable of living a quality life.

When you are run down physically, you may feel poorly emotionally, as well as depressed, weepy or grumpy. Notice that the joy and energetic spirit is gone in your life. Dealing with family or your job is the last thing you want to do during that time.

In addition, your mental capabilities suffer. When you try to think of taking care of your family or your job, you find it mind boggling; you can’t take care of you, let alone anyone else!

Not only do you feel as if your body is breaking down but that your energetic spirit has resigned as well. You need time to recuperate in every aspect of your life.

No wonder you wish for warm sunny weather with the birds singing and the flowers beckoning to you in their cheerfulness.

How do you relax? Some people find watching TV or going to a movie refreshing and even energizing. Others garden or golf. Reflect on your own fun activity and remember to keep it in mind when it dawns on you that you feel tired and worn out. This is your spring awakening!

Here are some of my suggestions for helping you to celebrate spring:

1. Join a yoga class, QiGong, or swim group.

2. Meet with a group of friends once a week for coffee or…

3. Detox your body with an Epsom salts bath

4. Listen to relaxing music

5. Set aside an hour daily just for you alone

6. Join a volunteer group – an activity that you will enjoy

7. Take a nature walk – in the park or on the beach

8. Read a good book for 15 minutes a day

9. Laugh daily and be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes

10. Listen to my CD, Quest for Happiness Relaxation Techniques

Another suggestion is that you add your own. You may be interested in some activity that I have not mentioned. The bottom line is that you have to take care of yourself. No one else can do that for you.

In closing, I wish you a Happy Spring! Be kind to yourself and be grateful.

Until the next time,

Bride

February Blues or February Red?

2011-02-13T14:55:00.000-08:00

Deep into winter

Snow upon snow

When will it ever end?

Blah!

YET

Mountains of snow

Diamonds glistening in the sun

Evergreen trees wrapped in white coats

Silent, still

Sparkling white

Peaceful, calm

Beautiful!

Awesome!

Which feeling do you have? A blue or blah one? If it is either one, maybe taking the time to stop and reflect on something good in your life will help change your mood. As you know February 14^th is well known as Valentine’s Day. Maybe this can help you change your color from blue to red!

Check out the stores and notice the array of red on the shelves; red hearts-shaped boxes of chocolates, red balloons and red cards proclaiming love that you can give to your sweetheart, family and friends.

So are you still feeling blue or are you now seeing red? Interestingly enough, when we talk about “seeing red,” it usually suggests that one is angry at something or someone. In my case, I want to promote a totally different atmosphere. In keeping with the theme of love and how we associate it with the color red, I want to focus on the reason behind Valentine’s Day. As you know it is meant to promote the theme of love.

Everyone has his or her own definition of love. Based on family tradition, learning and especially experiencing love or lack of it, we sing and write about it.

Some of the songs we sing:

“Love Makes The World Go Round.”

“Love Me Tender”

“I Will Always Love You”

“Love Is All Around”

“Love Is All We Need”

These songs portray the romantic side, often the infatuation of first love. This is wonderful but if it ends there with just the externals, it will not lead to a much deeper love. The hope is that it will, but experience teaches us that sometimes it doesn’t.

What are the qualities of love?

In my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach, I discuss trust, caring, respect, good communication, and time for each other as some of those qualities. I would add gratitude as another characteristic.

The foundation for a relationship is trust. Unless that is built in, it will not last. Caring and respect for one another are a close second. Letting the other person be his or her true self and able to express one’s feelings and thoughts is paramount. Being kind is also another quality to foster.

I’ve also devoted a chapter to communication skills in my book. When one partner can ask for what he or she needs in the relationship in a loving way, the response is lovingly returned. Rather than reacting to a situation where blame is often heard, the couple or the parent and child can respect one another’s feelings and respond accordingly. Understanding each others’ needs promotes good communication.

In our busy world today, taking time to be with each other must be scheduled into the day and not just once a week. Parents and children need to plan some precious time to spend with one another in advance, just as the parents have to do it for themselves.

One splendid way is to celebrate not only the usual holiday events, such a Valentine’s but special ones that are known only to the couple or the family itself. It need not be an extravagant event but one that is meaningful for all involved.

As you reflect on your own relationship and the love that’s involved, you can see that it takes work from each of you to build a healthy and happy life.

You can do your part by taking a few minutes to reflect on your own feelings. How are you feeling now? If you were experiencing the Blah feeling, has it changed? If you had colored your world red, then may the energy of love increase as you reflect on your life.

In the second half of my poem, the attitude expressed is one of gratitude and appreciation for the beauty of winter.

May your world be colored with love or the beauty of the whiteness of winter. May you experience the gratitude and peace as you reflect on the gifts in your life!

Until the next time, may love reign in your hearts!

Fondly,

Bride

Inner Awakening

2011-02-02T17:36:00.001-08:00

"Becoming more conscious is vital to our sense of well-being and empowers us to fully know ourselves."
~Michael Bernard Beckwith, Spiritual Liberation, p. 93

What will this New Year bring? I asked that questions in my last blog entry, Endings and Beginnings. At that time, I noted that there will be times for rejoicing and times for mourning. At one time or another, everyone on earth has experienced some form of joy or sorrow, peace or turmoil, love or indifference or even hate in their lives. Many times it is in times of turmoil, loss or great sorrow that the person turns inward to ask the age old questions: “What is the purpose of my existence? Why is this happening to me, now?”

Funny, if life is good and wonderful things are occurring, we don’t question why it’s happening. It would seem that only when pain, suffering and misery come our way do we ask the reason why. Do you agree? Do we experience an inner awakening when this happens?

At other times, we ask the same questions because we have the time to do so. As we grow older and take time to ponder how we’ve lived our lives, these questions surface again.

In ancient texts from the Far East, we read how often they speak of balance and cycles of nature when referring to human situations. Such contrasts as summer and winter, spring and fall echo human conditions. We are born and we die, we enjoy or survive our young and middle aging and then grow old. In any event, just as the seasons come and go, so too do things and people move in and out of our lives.

Just taking some time daily to ‘wake up smell the roses’ so to speak will have us become more reflective about our life style. In that quiet time, we can awaken to the realization that certain significant people or things make life meaningful for us.

In some cases, however, we realize otherwise; that our lives have become empty and meaningless. When we awaken to that reality, we then have an opportunity to change our present situation and make it meaningful. Only when it registers with us that when we change our attitude we can change our lives. No one can do that for us. We hold the control in our hands, in our minds and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Let’s reflect on what it is to blame (even ourselves) for the way we live. Blame shifts the responsibility from ourselves to someone or something outside us. Even when we blame ourselves, it again disconnects us from our inner self. Only when we truly stand on our own two feet and take responsibility for the way we live, in honesty, can we change what needs to be changed.

Sometimes, though, people just trudge along day by day and seek other means to fill this emptiness through various kinds of addictions. Only when they literally fall flat on their faces do they wake up and realize that the time has come to get off that treadmill of destructive behavior.

What does it mean to get in touch with our inner self? Have an inner awakening?

Here are some ways to do this despite having a hectic daily schedule:

1. Assess your daily schedule and note times when you are alone.

2. What do you like to do that gives you peace and inner serenity?

3. Choose one or two that helps you reflect on building a deeper awareness of who you are.

4. Practice daily.

Your next question may be: What what would I suggest?

One easy way to concentrate is to focus on your breathing. Whether you're in your car, riding the elevator or walking the dog, you have amazing opportunities to practice deep breathing and bring a feeling of peace and serenity to your daily activities.

Notice other occasions that give you time to stop and assess what is happening in your life. When you have a block of time, you can read a book that will help you take a deeper look at your inner life, meditate on what inspires you or plan a vacation to enrich your life.

The key is to take care of your self. By so doing, you can build a rich inner life and spread the joy and happiness you feel after learning how special and unique you are as a fully alive human being.

Enjoy your inner journey, ‘to go where no one has gone before.’ If you need a road map, visit my website, http://harborofhappiness.com to learn how to buy my book, Quest for Happiness, the GPS of Relationships.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings.

Until the next time, spread love and peace,

Bride

Endings and Beginnings

2011-01-11T08:55:00.001-08:00

How are you tending to the emerging story of your life?

~Carol Hegedus and Frances Vaughan

As 2010 is now in my rearview mirror, it seems fitting to stop and ponder how my own life is faring. Just as the seasons come and go, so too movement and change are my reality. Whether I agree with it or not, change is inevitable. There are endings and beginnings, practically everyday in my world. People move in and out of my life – one is born and several die but all effect me one way or another. As I leave the old year behind, I question what the New Year will bring that I will mourn over or rejoice in.

As I herald each new year in, I wake up more and more to the important people and things in my life; love, above all, compassion and kindness, giving and forgiving, gratitude and hope. As my story continues to unfold, I consciously savor and relish each moment of every day.

First of all, I appreciate that I breathe fresh air and enjoy health when I know that elsewhere in the world, people do not. I am grateful daily for this experience.

Second, in acknowledging the simple things, such as watching each season come and go: snow in the winter or a butterfly or beautiful trees in the summer, I am fortunate and happy. Observing our little puppies at play brings me joy. Their unconditional love and attention are lessons to me about giving to others who can benefit from experiencing the same gifts.

Third, realizing that as I grow older, I can give up the need to be perfect. It’s ok to be me, with my imperfections and idiosyncrasies. Focusing on the small stuff blinds me to the big picture so that I lose sight of what I’m really after, such as fulfilling my dreams. It need not be an ‘all or nothing’ attitude but a ‘both and.’ There is so much abundance wherever I am and so many opportunities to help me on the way. In turn, I can help others.

Fourth, reflecting on the love, compassion and kindness that I experience is humbling and energizing. My world is a very safe and happy one. I feel grateful and fortunate for that world when I watch the TV news of doom and gloom. I feel compassion for the sufferings and pain of others. I want to surround them with love and kindness. But I also notice how people are helping people, giving hope and promise for a happier future. As this New Year begins, my dream and wish is that every human being experience love and peace daily.

In your experience, who are the people significant in your life? What qualities do you value in you and in them? Take some time out of your busy world, and reflect on what makes you happy and loving.

A Mini Meditation

Close your eyes and become aware of your breathing. Slow it down and notice where the tension lies in your body. Breathe into it and image it floating like a feather out of your body.

Next, consider two things that you love doing. Some examples are singing, dancing, gardening, golfing, reading or taking nature walks. Reflect on the quality in each one that gives you life.

Hold both in your hand and your heart. Continue to breathe quietly. Notice the feelings of peace, gratitude and love.

As you return to your place of activity, remind yourself periodically of these feelings.

~Adapted from: Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening, p.4~

As you can see, just taking a few minutes a day energizes as well as gives you a feeling of wellness and peace. When you can live this way and spread it to others, the world becomes a better, happier place. Be aware of the power of one- your power. The good you do follows after you. As my mother used to say, ‘goodness comes home to roost.’

How are you tending to the emerging story of your life?

If you are looking for ways to relieve the stress in your life and build a happy, fulfilling life, there are many ways to do that. Many books and media equipment are available.

One way I would suggest is to visit my website. There, I have a CD of Relaxation Techniques that accompanies my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach.

May 2011 bring you bounteous joy and success!

Please feel free to respond and tell me your story.

Happy New Year!

Fondly,

Bride

Gratitude and Joy

2010-12-22T21:20:00.000-08:00

" Arrange whatever pieces come your way."

~Virginia Woolfe

As the curtain comes down on this year of 2010, I stop to ponder the major events that have had an influence on my life this year. Some I know have brought joy to my life and I am grateful for those. Even the so called ‘bad things’ have a silver lining to them. I learn from them, too, and am grateful.

Three amazing women who played a significant role in my life have taken another step in their journey. My mother-in-law, Maggie, at the age of one hundred and four left us in April; my sister’s mother-in-law, Annie, in her nineties, died of cancer in July. In the same week, my cousin, Mary (also in her nineties) died peacefully.

When I reflect on their life experiences and how they moved in and out of my life, I am amazed at their accomplishments, lived out in gentleness and strength. Each in her own quiet way loved and cared for their families and for those whom they met along the way.

I remember Maggie for her love of dancing and music. Her stories of growing up in the Codroy Valley, (which is the picture I've chosen above) a beautiful scenic community in the western section of Newfoundland, kept me enthralled. Her sense of humor kept me laughing more than once.

I experienced Annie’s warm hospitality and caring concern whenever I visited her. Her knack for baking that special chocolate cake for a birthday was well known; only her children knew her secret ingredient! Every family gathering saw her bring one of her baking specialties for the occasion.

My fondest memories of Mary go back to my study days at university. Her home was always open to welcome everyone. My friends and I spent weekends relaxing after a hard week of studying. Her generosity and interest in our lives are well remembered and loved.

I am deeply grateful for their presence in my life. I mourn that I can’t see or touch them but they are with me in another way, in a spiritual sphere.

Another reason for gratitude is the recent addition to our family in June of my grandnephew, Connor. He and Elissa, my grandniece, give great joy to our family. Watching them take their first steps, talk and even sing gives me a sense of wonder. As their little personalities develop, I am amazed at the beauty of these little human beings. My heart is filled with happiness and love.

As Rainer Maria Rilke, author and poet, said “This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love: the more they give, the more they possess.”

My deepest joy in life is the love that I experience from my family and friends. The more I love, the more I receive. There are no limits to love. What a powerful healing force that is! Miracles do happen. I am deeply grateful!

This love does not eliminate the heartache and sorrow or pain I experience. It often requires patience and acceptance on my part. I am the creator of my life. I can decide how I respond to these events. As Virginia Woolfe suggested, I can arrange the pieces of my life in the way I see fit. Above all, I realize that love will enable me to move through the experience and emerge triumphantly in joy.

As you reflect on these closing days of the year,

- What are your thoughts and feelings?

- What memories do you cherish?

- What joys are you thankful for?

- What are your hopes and dreams for the New Year?

As I look forward to the New Year, I am hoping that you experience love, count your joys and be thankful.

Please feel free to comment and share some of your answers to the questions I’ve asked.

Happy New Year!

Fondly,

Bride

Letting Go

2010-11-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

Letting Go

The red, gold and orange leaves on the trees

Glistening in the sun

As I meander down the lane,

I stop

To watch them, twirling, gently falling to the ground.

I am amazed at the care Nature takes.

Would that I could take a lesson from her knowing and silent ways!

Yet red Autumn shouts this loud and clear to me;

Let go! Let go!

How I long for Summer’s rainbow to continue

But Nature gently calls me, pulls me

To be aware of the rhythms of life and death, joy and heartache, noticing How the green seeds of Spring burst forth into Autumn’s glorious harvest.

The abundance of Autumn nourishes me

As I notice the subtle signs of Winter

The trees, snow-covered, yet strong and silent

A hint of green

Life within!

What have I seeded that is now bearing fruit?

What am I harvesting?

Is it the reality that life and death flow into each other?

Like the waves of the ocean, rising and falling, mesmerizing in its motion

Inviting me onward in my quest for happiness

Nature’s changing seasons mirror the rhythms in my life

Moving upward, forward on my journey to

Bountiful Energy

Celebrating Freedom and Joy

Embracing Life!

Just recently, I spent a few days in the country. That beautiful autumn day inspired me to write this poem. With our camera and two puppies, I strolled along a salmon river to enjoy the sunshine on the trees.

All of us can identify with the changing seasons. Sometimes, however, it takes us a long time to appreciate the changes that catapult in our lives. Some we see as good while others we wonder at the reason for it. Just as the deciduous trees let go of their leaves this time of year, so we too must say, “Goodbye” to some things and maybe some person in our lives. Or maybe we have to take a different road then the one we’re travelling on.

All of us are on a journey, our quest for happiness. Think of millions of TV ads showing the many ways they tell us we can find happiness. Buy this product, drive this type of vehicle or own this yacht.

When it comes down to the crunch, we take a lot for granted until we are deprived of it. If we lose our home in a flood or a fire, it makes us assess what really counts in our lives. And then we realize that our significant relationships and how we communicate with the people we are in them with are of paramount importance to us.

Watch TV and it becomes obvious that the conflict in the world is all around the issue of relationships. Most of the stress in our lives arises because of our interaction with others, be it at home or at work. We can often voice what we need to do to take care of ourselves but doing it is another thing. The old saying that ‘you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink’ is so true. When we apply it to ourselves, we stop at one point because we don’t want to change even though we know it is good for us. Letting go takes courage and time and attention.

As I reflect on this autumn season, I realize that change is inevitable, sometimes painful and often very necessary. Like the trees that lose their leaves, I too must accept a new way of life so that after the winter, spring can arise in my heart.

During this time, such deep questions come to mind as:
- What do I value?
- What can I do without?
- What am I forced to do without?
- What can I do without in order to embrace something new and exciting?

Sometimes it means letting go of the need to be right all the time. Just this time, give the other person the freedom to choose what you think is not the right thing. It could be right for them.

Another thing that works for me is letting of the negative feelings about my self and replacing it with affirmations. I want to try something new but I’m afraid of failure so I don’t try it. The affirmation could be, “I am gifted and capable of success.”

As you can see, in letting go, I plant the seeds of new life, excitement and joy. In so doing, I release past negativity and create an exciting life. With change comes transformation. I am an enthusiastic person filled with love and happiness.

Autumn is a great time for reflection. As my poem says, let us move forward on our journey to

Bountiful Energy
Celebrating Freedom and Joy
Embracing Life!

Until the next time, observe Nature to notice how she teaches us about life!

Bride

Self Awareness

2010-07-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

In my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach, one of the underlying themes is self awareness. Too often in our world today, we rush around in a frenzy. We often fail to take the time to stop and become aware of what’s happening in our lives – especially our inner lives. We may feel a twinge of something physical, such as a tightness in our gut or a pain in the neck. Sometimes, however, we fail to notice a warning sign until it becomes a full blown physical condition. Then we may question, “What is giving me a pain in the neck?” Our body then forces us to stop and listen.

1. Self awareness brings a measure of inner peace and fulfillment.

In my own experience, I have learned that if I listen immediately to my physical body (that neck pain, for instance) I become aware of what is happening emotionally. Then I can take time to ask the question and reflect on what I need to do to take care of the challenge arising in my life.

Ordinarily, I would call it a problem but I have since learned that I like the idea of challenge better. It’s more positive in tone than problem. I feel that with a challenge, I am energized to seek a way to change my present situation. For me it’s a paradigm shift in attitude.

In reflecting on this challenge, I contemplate the changes needed. I have to keep working at it until the strange uneasy feeling eases to experience that inner peace and fulfillment.

Try this way of looking at things: Find the means to make a positive change in your life. This is one way to inner peace and fulfillment – and joy, as well.

2. Self awareness will deepen your personal relationships, especially the personal relationship you have with yourself. Begin there.

Once you realize the importance of creating a loving relationship with yourself, you will know its value, first, in your life and then in the life of your loved ones.

As you know, you must first love yourself before you can love others. You must value you as a loving, caring, worthwhile being in your own eyes before you can really value anyone else. Open your eyes to see the positive – not the negative. Too often we focus on the negative aspects of our body, personality, intelligence or status in life. Being gentle with our mis-takes will make us compassionate when others do things that hurt us. Notice that with the word mis-take, when you hyphenate it, it means that you can try it again. Don’t view it as a failure but rather as an opportunity to do it over.

If you find that you are doing much self criticizing, please read Chapter Three, Building Self Confidence of my book. It will give you ways to turn your self criticism to self loving. Examples of self affirmations are given to help you do this. When loving yourself becomes a habit, you can transfer these positive attitudes to the significant others in your life.

3. Self awareness will attune you to the reasons why you do the things you do. It will wake you up!

Oftentimes, the underlying reason why we react rather than respond to a situation is fear. I touched briefly on this emotion in my book, Chapter Four, Emotions: Negative and Positive. Have you noticed how fear and bodily reactions are interrelated? I ask ten questions related to fear and its effects on the body. Check these out to see if you can identify with them. Answer them to help you in your growth process.

Another book that you might find helpful is Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. This book was a great inspiration to me when I had reached a crossroads in my life. I realized that I viewed the world as a scary and hostile place. It was very fearful for me to move out of a comfortable area in my life to an unknown world.

In my counseling career, the theme of fear has often emerged not only with people in every walk of life but also with people of every age. In one sense, it is comforting to know that you are not alone. Facing the fear and exploring why you are afraid of moving ahead in your life is a risky business. Here, however, is another challenge to energize you to action.

Take the time to eke out the reasons for the fear in your life. Be patient and if necessary, find a trusted friend to journey with you- someone who will listen to your fears but not discount them. Acknowledgement of these fears often helps to dissipate what seems to be overwhelming and makes them small and insignificant by comparison. Then you can feel in control and deal with the situation.

Remember change takes place slowly. Just as the birthing of the butterfly from its cocoon is a gradual process, our self awareness and growth is often hidden and very quiet.

As I sit here at the cottage gazing out at the lush green grass and trees swaying in the breeze after a torrential rain, I am reminded how Nature reveals how she cares for the birds, trees and other beautiful creatures of the universe. You and I could follow her example by focusing on how we can become more loving in our lives. This will help eliminate the fears that sometimes control us. Self awareness is one way to tap into our personal power and live each day with a greater sense of peace and fulfillment.

Walt Whitman’s poem, Leaves of Grass, provides us with the inspiration to seek love and dissolve our fears if we are willing to do what he suggests:

I exist as I am, that is enough.

If no other in the world be aware I sit content,

And if each and all be aware I sit content.,/br>
One world is aware, and by far the largest to me,

and that is myself.

And whether I come to my own today or in ten

thousand or ten million years,

I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness,

I can wait.

Continue your journey to self awareness and be at peace.

Until next time,

Bride

The Breath of Life

2010-07-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

Breathing comes natural to us; we hardly think about it as we go about our daily routines. Yet it is our most precious gift that we have until we die and it is freely given us.

During this past week, along the eastern shore of North America, people have had difficulty breathing because of the high temperatures. The extreme heat is wreaking havoc especially on the very young and the elderly. The high use of air conditioners is taxing the hydro system. It actually failed, causing problems for over 175,000 people. The use of fans provides very little relief, although it gives the illusion of providing some help.

In Europe, especially Spain, the extremely high temperatures are causing problems, as well. Other parts of Asia are experiencing the same thing. People with asthmatic conditions and other health related issues are being advised to stay indoors.

I love summer but I wouldn’t wish to experience the high temperatures that these people have to endure at this time. The summers I want to experience would give me the opportunity to spend time outdoors having fun with my puppies and family.

It’s my favorite time to spend in the country, listening and watching the birds and chipmunks while enjoying the refreshing breeze blowing through the trees. More importantly, for me, is spending time near the ocean. I love walking along the beach, listening to the swish of the waves and the call of the seagulls. Combine that with sharing summer fun with friends and family! That is my idea of being healthy! I don’t have to worry about breathing problems due to extremely high temperatures.

How fortunate I am!

In my last blog entry, I reflected on the question: How healthy are you? In this entry I want you to focus your breath. Become aware of what is happening to you when you breathe. Are you in good physical health? Or are you prone to coughs and colds depending on the season? Are you a smoker?

When you get upset over a situation, what happens to your breathing? Oftentimes, people will actually hold their breath and not realize it. Only when their stress is lightened do they begin breathing again. The best remedy, of course, is to become aware that you are not breathing and deep breathe immediately to relieve the stress in the situation. This will take practice.

When you are focusing on your breath, it is important that you have correct posture, as well. Keep the body straight and imagine a silver thread joining the universe to the top of your head. Picture that thread along your backbone, leaving the body through the tailbone and joining the earth. Then breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your slightly opened mouth. It’s so soft that you were you to have a lighted candle in front of you, you would not disturb the flame.

When you take time to breathe deeply and focus on your breath and posture, there are many benefits. Combine this technique with exercise and a healthy diet to help
1. relieve stress
2. increase your energy level
3. relieve fatigue and even pain
4. delay the aging process
5. maintain and build a healthy body

Having a positive mental attitude and a sense of humor will augment the benefits. Combining those with a balanced life style helps tremendously. Spending quality time with your family and friends, as well as yourself, enjoying time communing with nature and listening to your inner self are all ways to creating the life you want to achieve.

In your Quest for Happiness, what do you value? Clean air and environment? A world that promotes peace, prosperity and happiness for all?

Focus on your breathing and take on one thing at a time. Climbing a mountain begins with taking that first step. You can achieve your quest for happiness.

Remember my CD of Relaxation Techniques will help you as part of this Quest.

Until next time, enjoy building up a healthy life for you and your loved ones, and if you live in one of those areas that are experiencing high temperatures right now, stay cool…and remember to breathe.

Bride

How Healthy Are You?

2010-06-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

How Healthy Are You?

"Good health is having no fatigue, having a good appetite, going to sleep and awakening easily, having a good memory, humor, having precision in thought and action, and being honest, humble, grateful and loving. How healthy are you?" ~Louise Hay, Hearts Thoughts, p. 120

When I came across this saying, it set me thinking about my own health. I am hoping that you, in turn, will stop and think about yours. I think it is a wonderful template to follow in life! All of us, at one time or another, have experienced most of these. I hope that we will continue to experience them no matter how young or old we are. As you know, healthy living is a topic on everyone’s mind these days. The general consensus is that if we eat balanced meals and exercise, we will experience health.

Too often in our world today, the opposite happens and dis-ease (Louise’s word) creeps in to upset that equanimity. She writes on p.112 that “If we don’t make internal changes, the dis-ease comes back or we create another dis-ease.” Note how she focuses on the notions that when we are healthy, we are at ease. When we are unhealthy, we experience dis-ease.

I like her point of view. When I am at ease with myself, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically, my life feels rich, happy and contented.

However, cancer and other dis-eases are constantly in the news. How much time is spent talking about cures for these dis-eases? Fight to cure them! It would seem better to begin experiencing all these attributes most of the time by focusing on the positive rather than the negative!

How can we do that?

In my Chow Qigong classes, I am taught to draw in the energy of the universe and use it for healing. In a previous entry, I discussed how I breathe deeply and fill every cell with universal energy. This creates a feeling of well being. I feel grounded and my health is improved.

Now that summer is here in the northern hemisphere, I am looking to experience hot lazy days. This is a time for me to spend as much time outdoors as possible, soaking up the sun (with lots of sun block on, or course!) It’s my favorite time to spend in the country, listening and watching the birds and chipmunks while enjoying the refreshing breeze blowing through the trees. More importantly, for me, is spending time near the ocean. I love walking along the beach, listening to the swish of the waves and the call of the seagulls. Combine that with sharing summer fun with friends and family! This is one way that I love to spend my time and it keeps me healthy!

What are the keys to attain this life style Louise advocates? I would suggest that we focus on two:

1. Positive attitude
2. Intuition and feelings

Positive Attitude

One of the key concepts in Chow Qigong is attaining a positive mental and emotional attitude. What you think about is what you create in your life, according to the Law of Attraction. Have you heard that before? This means that if you focus on dis-ease, you bring illness to your life. It makes sense then to think about being healthy and staying that way.

However, it is not as easy to do and be as it sounds. Some people have a hard time seeing the positive in anything they do. They think of how things can go wrong and point it out to us when things do go wrong.

To move from negative thinking to positive thinking takes time and attention. There is a process involved in making such a major change in your outlook. Any time that you notice you are expressing something negative, stop and review what you are thinking or have already said. If you can pretend that your mind is like a tape recorder, then you can rewind the tape and say something positive. You will find that you feel better about yourself and the situation.

I would recommend that you invite someone to journey with you, a person you trust and one you consider wise in your estimation. That person can help you become aware of what you are saying and doing. Together you can chart the progress in this area. You can make it a fun experience. Enjoy yourself as much as you can.

Notice that the energy is heightened when you focus on the positive. That energy can build if you yourself become aware of your breathing and the bodily feeling of ease that arises.

Intuition and Feelings

This is also related to internal changes in that one must become aware of one’s inner feelings. Some people, because of the buzz of activity in their lives, don’t take the time to see what’s happening within. They often use other people’s ideas and standards instead of figuring out what they themselves need to do.

To give an example, someone says something to you that upsets you. When you take the time to admit that you are feeling hurt and upset because of the comment made, you can do several things. Pretend it never happened; become very angry and react negatively or step back and question what is really happening here.

When you have a good sense of yourself you can create the atmosphere whereby you can assess what happened and respond, not react, to the situation. You are aware of the feelings that arise and ponder what the best response would be.

This may not seem to relate to the question of “How healthy are you?” but it does. Health does not just mean lack of dis-ease in a body. If feelings are not considered in every day life, they can very often cause serious illness of the physical body. Denying your feelings is denying a large part of your life.

Chow Qigong advocates a balance of the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of your life. It’s similar to the fact that your body functions as a whole. Have you ever had a toothache? Didn’t your whole body feel miserable? Even if you cut your finger, it unbalances the remainder of your system. Likewise this is also true of all the different aspects of your life.

Judge yourself as to what energizes you. How healthy are you? Where do you go to get that energy?

When I began this essay, I wanted you to know that I love nature and want to be at one with all creation, because I am part of that creation and I am energized by it. We belong together!

May you too be energized as we enjoy our summer months in the northern hemisphere! Have fun and laugh often! There is healing energy in both!

I invite you to visit my website at http://harborofhappiness.com where you can contact me about receiving a Free Relaxation Technique, which can also help you on your journey of healing and energy.

Until the next time,
Bride

A Tribute to a Centenarian

2010-05-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

Margaret Alice Doyle nee Gale (1905-2010)

On April 28, 2010, Margaret Alice Doyle-Gale in her 105th year “slipped the surly bonds of earth… to touch the Face of God” (John Gillespie Magee, Jr.,) joining her husband, Paul and other relatives in the heavenly realm. Probably a more appropriate quote is by Cuthbert Hicks who wrote, “for I have danced the streets of heaven and touched the face of God.”

Those who knew Aunt Maggie knew that she loved to dance. She kept telling everyone that she retired officially from dancing at the age of 84! I often watched her do a little jig when her type of music was played. On her 104th birthday, she danced a few steps with a smile on her face for all who came to help her celebrate in her own home.

Independent and proud, she loved doing her own housework, buying her groceries, hanging out her washing and doing her own gardening. This continued until she turned 99. Because of failing eyesight, she reluctantly consented to having help during the day. She, however, still insisted on doing her laundry, making her bed and getting a cup of tea for all who entered her home.

Unfortunately because of a fall, she spent the last four months of her life in the hospital. There she slowly faded until her demise the last week of April. An amazing woman has left our midst!

Born in the year 1905 the youngest of ten children in Millville, The Codroy Valley, Newfoundland, Maggie Alice, as she was known, was a witness to so many historic changes in her life and this world she lived in. The amenities she had in her home in 2010 could never have been imagined at the beginning of her life. The advances in technology and transportation, for example, must have been overwhelming for her!

As a young woman, when she wanted to go dancing, she walked from Millville to Upper Ferry, (about five miles) danced all night and then walked home. She often boasted of doing such a thing. There was no such thing as taking a ride in a car to get her there and back. When she told me this story, I didn’t think to ask her why she didn’t take the horse and buggy. It seemed to be the custom at the time for she and her friends to go “shanks mare.”(By foot!)

After she married her husband Paul and they started their family, she didn’t work with the household conveniences we have today. Her laundry was done in a tub with a glass wash board. She learned how to cook and bake on a stove fuelled by wood. There weren’t any dishwashers or microwaves at that time! Rearing twelve children, keeping house and managing a little store as a younger woman in St. Andrews kept her quite busy. Back then, it was common for the boys to help their father with the outdoor chores while the girls learned how to keep house and cook. They were taught well by their mother.

It wasn’t all work and duty. The family gathered round the organ played by their mother while they joined with their father to sing Irish and Newfoundland songs. Paul’s favourite was “Danny Boy.” “When You and I Were Young, Maggie” was her favourite because he sang it to her. In later years, it was often requested for her on her birthday.

In 1954, the family left St. Andrew’s and moved to Stephenville. But Maggie was not one to forget her roots! Besides her many relatives, she also had many friends and often returned to visit. When Paul died of a heart attack at the age of 65, she buried him at the feet of his parents in St. Andrews. The family knew her place would be beside him when her turn came, and she was gently laid to rest in her beloved Codroy Valley!

She leaves behind a great legacy, that of 52 grandchildren, 74 great grandchildren and 9 great-great grandchildren. While 9 of her children live in Newfoundland, one resides in Ontario and their children and grandchildren are scattered throughout varied parts of Canada and the United States of America.

She came into my life when I married her son John fifteen years ago. She shared many of her stories about growing up in the Codroy Valley and what it was like rearing a family with me. She often told many funny stories about Paul, who kept her laughing most of the time. Like most families, they experienced hard times and sad times as well. She buried two of her daughters who died of cancer as young mothers leaving behind young families. Maggie also lost one child in a miscarriage, so she knew what it was to suffer grief and sadness.

Like all of us, she was human and had her faults and foibles. I prefer, however; to remember her as someone who was fun to be with. As it grew more evident that she needed more care as she got older, the family took turns staying overnight with her. She had her nightly rituals. Sometimes she had a habit of getting up in the middle of the night thinking that it was early morning. It became my job when it was our turn to stay with her to remind her to wait until we called her for breakfast.

“If I find you wandering around in the night, I’ll beat you with a feather!” I would remark. She would laugh, and after I made sure she had her rosary beads, she’d settle down for the night. This continued until she had her accident. It then became our routine to visit the hospital on a regular basis especially during meal time.

I have many happy memories of her during that time. Some are quite funny! Her short term memory had started to deteriorate prior to her fall. She would often remark about not remembering something from her past. The longer her stay in the hospital, the more noticeable it became that her memory was failing her. She frequently thought she was living back at her home in the Valley. One night, as John was saying good night to her, she asked him if he were going straight home. When he said he was, she told him, “Take the horse.” Other examples showed that her heart and mind were back there. It was a blessing that she died peacefully and quietly at 10:30 pm on April 28th.

Maggie Alice wasn’t famous in the way that the world considers it! She was a strong woman who showed me what a life of commitment and duty entailed. Living more than 100 years is quite a feat! My life has been gifted because of her presence! I will long remember her influence - especially her love of music and dancing! May she dance forever in the streets of heaven!

May you in turn take time to appreciate the giftedness of your life!

Until the next time!

Bride

Stress Relievers: Looking After Yourself!

2010-04-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

Over the past six months, I have been giving seminars focusing on ways to help people handle effectively the stresses in their personal and professional lives. Many of them are care givers and teach their clients how to build a happy and contented life. Yet they themselves voice that they are not following what they advocate. In other words, it’s easier said than done.

This seems to be the case in all of our lives. Where ever we are, stress certainly plays a role in today’s society. Now there are normal stresses of course! I am focusing on the kind that we can eliminate to make our daily lives richer and fuller.

What have you done in the past to relieve this type of stress? We are told that within each of us there is a solution to a problem we are facing. Sometimes it just means becoming aware of what we already know. We may even overlook it because it is so familiar to us.

Let’s take a look at the Stop, Look and Listen technique that we automatically use when crossing the street.

STOP
1. First of all, set aside some time to think about what you need to do to lower your stress level. You may say that you have all the time in the world to do that and you just can't think. Then just be…
Look at a rose or think of a favorite scene or happy memory.

2. Next, reflect on your present situation to see what you can or cannot change. Write down what is bothering you the most and causing the stress. When you do this, you may realize that you manage your situation very well because of the support you have. Just doing that helps you feel better.

3. Thirdly, name the feelings that arise as a result of your situation. If the feelings of anger, helplessness and hopelessness are overwhelming, you may need to talk to someone who can help you sort through them. To help you get past that stumbling block, calling a friend or perhaps listening to a calming CD may help. You may find that my CD called Quest for Happiness- Relaxation Techniques may be helpful to you at this time. There are twelve separate relaxation techniques on the CD itself, and it is designed specifically with the intention to help people like you alleviate some of the stresses you may be feeling.

LOOK
4. Think of a past situation where you were successful in a stressful situation? What worked for you? Could you use the same techniques again or would you look for new ones? Keep it simple.

LISTEN
5. Listen to your inner being - your intuition, to make life beautiful for you. Looking after yourself could be as simple as deciding to walk each day for thirty minutes, join a fitness club, a swimming class or a yoga class. Try something new to take care of your physical well being.

6. Plan daily to spend some time listening to a relaxing tape or reading something inspirational. You can choose to share that time and inspiration with a family member or friend. Laugh daily. This will help your emotional health.

7. List the talents you have. Are you interested in painting, photography or crafts? Would you like to join a book club, or a quilting bee? What gives you joy?

8. Count your daily successes and the gifts in your life. Speak of them to your family and friends.

What I have outlined for you in this section is my FTA Approach; Feel, Think and Act. My book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach gives you greater detail and strategies to use this approach in handling the stresses in your personal and professional life. While it focuses on difficult relationships, the method can be applied to any other aspect of your life. In this case, working on relieving the stresses you are undergoing.

Remember that there are many ways to create a stress free lifestyle. I hope my suggestions are a helpful. In your healing, be creative and look after yourself! You are worth it!

Until the next time, assess your situation and give yourself permission to care for yourself in a healthy and happy way! Have fun doing it!

Bride

Miracles of Haiti

2010-02-06T09:19:00.000-08:00

Miracles do happen. As I was pondering earlier last month what this New Year would bring, I didn’t have far to look. The news on the radio, TV, and the internet since January 12th has been filled with the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti. People’s eyes and ears are glued to the TV to see and hear the latest about this tragedy.

Response in aid worldwide has been phenomenal; tragedy certainly brings out the compassion and caring in people irrespective of color, race, creed or language. We are united in the one goal to help these people. Telethons and benefit concerts from the tiniest community to major cities with celebrity entertainment are being held all over the world. Relief money is pouring in with everyone’s hope that it will relieve the suffering and pain of every island inhabitant. What truly amazes me are the stories of miracles that are happening on this small island!

How does one child survive while his mother is crushed? On January 20th, the rescue teams pulled out a 5 year old boy under the debris of his home – eight days without food or water! Two women rescued – a 25 year old from under the ruins of a supermarket and a 70 year old from under the rubble of a cathedral in Port au Prince. Under a home in Jacmel, a 3 year old is found alive among the debris, surviving without food for more than a week! These are the miracle stories.

More stories of survival will be become known as the rebuilding begins. Also, tales of heroic acts performed by neighbors or relatives who with little or nothing dig out those under buildings and care for the survivors until help arrives. These too are miracles.

It seems that someone knows somebody or has a relative who lives in Haiti. Because of this the anxiety, grief and stress is also experienced world wide as it becomes known that under the rubble so many people are trapped and now presumed dead. These people need to be cared for and given hope, often where hope cannot be found. Let’s hope that there are miracle workers there to help these people.

Stories, too, of heroic acts will come to light as the military, Doctors Without Borders, and the countless volunteers move in to bring hope and comfort to those in desperate distress. Many unsung heroes will do what is needed to bring about health to those seriously ill and the necessities of life to others.

As we sit and watch the daily events happening in Haiti, what can we do? What miracles can we perform?

My conscious level has been raised to the extent that I am thankful for the many good things and people in my life. To be grateful when I turn on the tap for clean water to drink and use for my daily needs. To look around and see the many things that I take for granted daily such as clean air, sufficient food and accommodation. To examine my way of living and make choices that will benefit both the environment and the community of people. To help those in need and promote good causes such as the Red Cross. To volunteer in ways that will promote hope and peace in our world.

Miracles do happen. What miracles can you perform? Perhaps you are in the throes of a difficult relationship wishing to find that happiness you, your partner, colleague, or friend so desperately desire. I would love to help you discover that you can have that miracle in your life. I hope you can achieve that through my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach and accompanying CD of Relaxation Techniques.

Until the next time, be grateful and help where you can – including yourself.

Bride

Julie & Julia

2009-11-29T21:27:00.000-08:00

Life has a way of imitating art or is it the other way around? Is truth stranger than fiction? It seems that way. Recently, I had the opportunity to watch the movie, “Julie and Julia” as I was traveling home by plane. First of all, just as the movie got started the TV monitors went blank and I learned that they had to be rebooted. Thirty minutes into the flight I resumed watching the movie. I enjoyed the comparison between the two J’s because both focused in on what they loved best – food. However, my fascination was their beginning efforts to write about their experiences. Both faced challenges, emotional upheavals, successes and failures. Both had husbands who supported them when everything seemed to go wrong and they got discouraged.

In my own life, I identified with them because I too started a venture that ran along similar lines. I wanted to do something that was beneficial and fun in my life. I began to write a book – a self help book to help people work through difficulties in their lives, especially in relationships. Just as the two J’s had their many ups and downs in writing their books, I did too. However, mine took about six years to complete. I didn’t work at it constantly over five years. This past year, though, I spent endless hours reworking, revising, and reviewing all that I had written. My husband stood beside me, very supportive and patient in the long haul. I was also fortunate in having a counselor friend who became my editor and my sister who was my computer guru journey with me throughout the entire process. Many a time I called both to commiserate my frustrations and discouragements. Needless to say, they carried me through and my book is now published and on the market.

I proudly present the book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach with its accompanying CD: Quest for Happiness – Relaxation Techniques.

What I am really amused at is that the plane landed and the TV monitors shut down just at the climax of the story. How did the story end? I know Julie got calls about her blog and was given the opportunity to choose the publisher for her book. But did she ever meet Julia? I assume so. The irony of it for me is that my reality is exactly where the movie ended. How will my story end? I would not be able to predict what will happen to me. I just have to take it a day at a time and live each moment to the fullest, happy and at peace knowing I am loved and supported by my many caring family members and friends.

Anyone care to let me know how the movie ends? Or shall I take the time to discover that for myself!

Until the next time,

Bride

Life Can Be Beautiful...Looking After Yourself

2009-11-06T07:14:00.001-08:00

The Christmas Robin...:O)
Originally uploaded by law_keven

"Life can be Beautiful…Looking After Yourself" - this is the title of the workshop that I will be giving at a counselors’ conference this coming week. As I review what I will be discussing with my participants, I realize how appropriate this topic is for me personally! Getting my book, "Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach" published and my CD, "Quest for Happiness – Relaxation Techniques" produced have been a major project for me over the past three months.

Looking after myself, in some ways, has not been a major focus lately. Late nights, early risings and rushing to meet deadlines created stress both mentally and physically. At times, it has been overwhelming, frustrating and oftentimes, panic provoking.

However, when I come up for air and realize what is happening, I stop everything and take stock of my situation. I remember the Traffic Safety Rules: Stop! Look! Listen!

So I do that! I focus on nature! I look out my window and watch the robins landing on the Dog-Berry (also known as a Rowan or Mountain Ash) tree on our front lawn. They fly in, land gently on the branch and pick a berry. Some fly off, while others land on the ground and enjoy the feast. Still others skim along the grass, stop, peer at the ground and find that invisible worm! I am reminded of the quote that we should watch the birds and notice that “they neither spin nor sow” yet they are being cared for!

Immediately, I think: “What’s the rush? Why am I stressed out? If I can be like the robins, I can see how beautiful life can be!”

Consequently, I take a deep breath and feel my body relax, my mind slows down and my whole being becomes grounded.

How much nature can teach us, if we but stop, look and listen! Life is beautiful and I want to keep it that way!

Until next time,

Bride

The Water of Life

2009-05-19T11:44:00.001-07:00

Water of Life
Originally uploaded by questforhappinessfta

Water in all of its forms has always fascinated me. Recently, I had the opportunity to take a walk along a river bank. The sound of the river intrigued me. Its song kept me spellbound! As I watched it flow freely, happily along, swirling against unseen rocks in its path, I was mesmerized by its energy. The longer I looked the more I realized the importance of water in my life – in all life.

Having grown up close to the Atlantic Ocean, I miss all the sights, sounds and smells of the sea when my travels take me far away from it. The sound of the surf, the screech of the seagulls and the smell of the salt air often woke me when I was growing up. Today, I live close to the ocean and I wonder daily at its beauty, majesty and sometimes ruthless power.

Day after day, news flashes force our attention on the heavy pollution of waters and oceans around the world. How can we hear the messages of the river if it is filled with toxic waste? What are we doing as individuals to reverse this process?

First of all, let’s focus on our bodies. What are we taking in that is toxic? Let’s spring clean. Consider the amount of processed food we eat daily along with the disposal containers that these foods come in. Let’s take stock and question our drinking habits. What do we ingest besides food and drink? What about the chemicals found in tobacco and other drugs which wreak havoc on our physical systems?

In addition to what we take into our bodies, let’s consider how we care for them. How much water do we use in our every day activities? How conscious are we of the value of water? When free of contaminants, water cleanses, it refreshes and it even heals.

As we become aware of how we treat our bodies, we realize anew the giftedness of being, of water and of creation. Nothing should be taken for granted. Our eyes become open to the fragility of life – our own life, the life of creatures around us, and the very earth we walk every day. In caring for our planet, we can make wholesome changes which in turn create a sense of wonder in ourselves.

Ponder on the importance of water. Have you ever experienced a lack of it? Think of the many areas in the world where they have little water. Often the water supply they do have is toxic, which causes disease and even death for many young children.

Not long ago, I listened to a radio interview of an eighty-four year old woman from Spain. In her broken English, she described how she conserved water daily. “When I want to brush my teeth,” she explained, “I put the toothpaste on my brush first, then I open the tap and wet it. I close the tap and brush my teeth. I open the tap to clean my brush. I close the tap and brush again. I open the tap to rinse my mouth and then close it.”

What is the message here? Environmentalists tell us that in North America alone each person uses 250 gallons of water a day. If you multiply that number by the entire population and compare it with the water consumption of the rest of the world, it makes us stop and think, doesn’t it?

As you reflect on your lifestyle around water, observe the good habits that are benefitting you, your family and the environment. If this is not the case, then begin to make changes.

Start with little things, such as; being grateful that water is abundant, and that it’s clean and refreshing. Become conscious of leaking taps, using excess water when washing the car or watering the lawn. These are luxuries in countries that must conserve water for food and drink.

Have you ever considered the messages found in water? In his book, The Hidden Messages in Water, Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto documents his findings. The different crystals photographed demonstrate the power of words. Beautiful crystals form when positive statements, such as Thank You, are breathed on the water. When negative statements such as I hate you are spoken, malformed and ugly crystals develop.

Just as words upon water empower the water to change for the better, you too can engage other people in this process. Promote a healthier way of living in food, drink and all the daily activities of your life. Positive reminders every now and then are helpful. The benefits will delight you, your family and the environment.

I want to empower each of you to journey to new wholeness in your daily life, blessing the water daily; grateful for all the wonderful joys you want to experience.

What are your thoughts? Please feel free to leave any comments, questions, or suggestions you’d like to offer.

In peace, and until next time,

Bride

Spring Cleaning Your Way to a New Life

2009-05-02T11:22:00.001-07:00

Spring Buds
Originally uploaded by Jim-AR

Have you ever watched the wonder on a little child’s face when she’s holding newborn, yellow chicks in her hands? I remember my mother handing me several of them when I was three or four. I still recall the delight in feeling their warm, furry little active bodies. Mom reminded me not to squeeze them too hard because they were so delicate. Spring reminds me of them and the other new life cropping up at this time in nature.

Seeing the first robin, little shoots of green peeking up, and the crocuses beginning to bloom are all signs that spring has finally arrived. New life, giving me a sense of new hope, is all around me. As the weather warms up, people are seen in their gardens, cleaning up, preparing the soil, planting flowers or vegetables. This new energy seems to move inside the home as well as spring cleaning begins.

This is a good time to move inward and see what needs cleaning there. This is your opportunity to dust away the cobwebs and the deadwood from the winter and the past. If some of life’s events have been making you feel hopeless, now is the time to create new life, watch it take root, blossom, and begin to grow.

If you focus on how you feel, you will notice a couple of things. If you’re feeling down, your energy level is low. If you feel good about yourself and your life, your steps are light and your energy high. Notice if you are one or the other.

“But I’m neither one nor the other,” you say. What do you mean? Do you have a ‘blah’ feeling?

Examine your life and question why you are feeling this way. Take a step back and pretend that you are looking at yourself and your life from the lens of a camera. Do you like what you see? How come?

Describe your life as you see it. Video tape yourself as you answer these questions. As you watch objectively, list the things you would like to change and then brainstorm some solutions.

As you move from noting your feelings, focus on your thinking. Is your thinking the result of your feelings or are your feelings a product of your thinking? If it is the second case, then try thinking something different. For example, if you’re thinking, “My life is dull, boring and lifeless,” change it to “I am living a quiet and peaceful life. I am becoming energized to make a creative, positive change in my life.” Then begin the process by taking a deep breath and repeating these statements often until you begin to believe them and start acting on them. You will find that your spirits begin to lift and your attitude becomes more positive. In turn, you begin to feel better.

This is a good example of spring cleaning. If you have actually tried my suggestion, you will notice that you have moved from feeling down to feeling good, from thinking depressing thoughts to more cheerful ones. In turn, you have more energy to get moving and make those positive changes you identified earlier. The more energy you have, the better life flows creating a beautiful mosaic for yourself.

Just as nature changes from winter to spring so you too can feel a surge of new life and new hope. Listen to the birds, walk in the sunshine and sing a song of nature. Happy Spring!

Feel free to give me feedback about my suggestions. I’ll be writing more in the upcoming days, so stay tuned!

Until next time, be at peace,

Bride

Our Heroes and Heroines

2009-03-17T14:45:00.001-07:00

Who is your hero?
Originally uploaded by questforhappinessfta

Who are the heroes or heroines in our lives? Just recently when I was reviewing a chapter in my book, Quest for Happiness, I asked myself that question. The chapter reflected on what would we consider to be the qualities of an ideal relationship as compared to the reality of our situation. It reminded me of my early childhood when I was first introduced to the fairy tales.

What about you? Think back in your own life growing up in your community. Who were your heroes? Who did you look up to? Isn’t it one or two of these from which you drew the qualities to base your significant relationships?

It is easy to think of the fictional ones as I did, because when we were little, we learned about Cinderella or Superman. Today, on videos and TV, young children watch them as well as others, such as Spiderman or Bakukan.

What qualities did you admire in the characters that you read about your favorite stories? Most likely these characters displayed strength, courage especially in terms of hardship or conflict, and power to overcome adverse conditions. They appealed to us because, like Cinderella, they either had a lovable, sweet nature or were capable of handling earth shattering disasters and saving the world, just like Superman.

The real heroes may seem harder to find especially in today’s world. Yet when we reflect on it, it is easier than we think. Just look around and see ordinary people doing extraordinary things. One that comes to mind is the heroism of many people in the 9/11 disaster. Even today, stories are still coming to light about the self-sacrifice of ordinary people.

What are the qualities of these people? Are they not those you possess? When crisis comes our way, do we not see the “stuff” of which we are made? Many examples of caring for others come to mind. The Mom who saves her child by lifting a heavy piano so he can breathe; the father who has to leave home to work in order to feed his family, or the older brother who comforts his little sister. We see neighbors helping their neighbors without being asked. These stories of love can be found when people value each other, want to share, and make their community a better place.

As I reflect on the question, the one person who stands out in my life is my mother. Like all of us, she wasn’t perfect, but she did her best with what she had. I inherited my love of reading from her. With Dad working outside the community, she didn’t have much of an opportunity, nor the leisure time to relax and read because of raising a large family. But she did read. I was always surrounded by books that she borrowed from the library for all of us. So much so that by the time I had reached grade five, she often remarked the I had read all the books in the children’s section. The seed that was planted so long ago to write a book is now bearing fruit. I am enjoying the experience very much.

What was her claim to fame? She loved and gave of herself to her husband and eight children. Both she and Dad supported us in whatever we set out to accomplish. A very strong woman, she was the rock in our stormy seas and kept us going with faith in her God and herself. She taught us by her example to care for each other and help others in need. She leaves behind a legacy of love for all of us.

Who are your heroes or heroines?

If you wish to learn more about relationships, keep in touch because more will be written on the subject. Quest for Happiness is slated to be published in the near future.

In the meantime, I welcome any questions or comments you may have.

Until next time,
Bride

Love is Everywhere

2009-02-17T17:40:00.001-08:00

airport hugs

One of the very important milestones in my life occurred on Valentines Day. My husband John and I celebrate February 14th every year, not only because of the day itself, but also because it is the anniversary of our first date. I don’t think that we consciously chose that day when we first began dating each other. As I think back fifteen years ago, I remember that it was the first available time in our schedules to get together. That evening, John arrived with a bouquet of flowers, and then he took me out to dinner and a movie. It was a very romantic and memorable night for me.

As I reflect upon what Valentines Day means to me, I am also reminded that I often see expressions of love in what may be considered the unlikeliest of places. One place in particular where I see that is at airport arrival areas. I always notice the large crowd of families, friends, acquaintances, and business associates who patiently wait for the deplaning passengers. As the passengers arrive and I see people embracing one another, shaking each other’s hands, or running to greet each other, it strikes me time and time again that all of these gestures – right down to someone taking the time out of their day to wait for someone to arrive – are all, in fact, expressions of love. It’s not something that we hear about on the evening news or read about in the papers the next day.

So, in keeping with that thought, I often wonder what is really behind all this glitz and glitter of Valentines Day. Are we not trying to say that love relationships are important in our lives? If it is, then how do we celebrate that?

It would seem that by assigning one particular day in February to such an important foundation of our life, something seems amiss. In the reality of our world, what makes the news is not love but war, hatred, violence, and the doom and gloom of today’s economic challenges. The media creates and maintains the frenzy, and we, as humans, are spellbound.

In spite of the mass hysteria, one outstanding thing that still remains is that human beings have one thing in common with each other. Everyone has the ability, as well as the desire, to love and be loved.

When life begins, we assume that it is created because two people love one another. Is it not embedded in our DNA to move towards another human being in love? Do not each of us crave to be loved for who we are, not for how we look or how much money we have?

Who is important in your life? How do you show your love? Is it shown through service and caring for another person every day whether you feel like it or not? Do you speak your love daily to the ones you hold dear? Do you forgive each other when feelings are hurt? Do you turn to each other in good times and in bad?

When you think about love, you may immediately conjure up images of young, married couples. But love is about so much more than that. It’s about the son who is now caring for his elderly father who has dementia or it can be about the single mom with an autistic young daughter. It’s about the friend that you’ve lost touch with, who still greets your phone call with an enthusiastic hello and picks up where both of you left off years ago as if you’ve never missed a beat. It’s about the volunteer who brings a hot meal and a smiling face to an elderly shut in. It’s about your next door neighbor who shovels your driveway after a big storm because he knows you have a bad back. Sometimes, love is about the hard choices that you have to make especially when reality sets in and no one is thoughtful enough to remember you with a gift on Valentine’s Day. Love can be found where there is service and heartfelt devotion.

Can we really survive without love? Just think about that for a moment. What comes to mind when you do? For me, I think that just as food is necessary for the body, love is essential also. Remember to feed both body and soul by getting and giving at least three hearty hugs a day and telling an important person in your life how you feel. If you also take the time to look around and notice, you will also see that love really IS everywhere.

Until next time, I wish you love not only on Valentines Day but on every day of the year.

Bride

One Resolution for 2009

2009-02-01T00:02:00.001-08:00

Qigong #3
Originally uploaded by нσвσ

It seems that everywhere I turn, someone is talking about making resolutions for this year. I have been struggling with what I want to do for 2009. Rather than make a resolution in the so called usual way, I have decided that I want to clarify my goals begun last year.

In my last entry, I listed three things that could be done. Reflecting on last year’s successes was my first suggestion. One goal that I had set for myself last September was to exercise daily for thirty- forty minutes to improve my health, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. To do this I started planning each night when I would exercise the next day. I wanted to be able to journal that I achieved 100% success each month. You might say that this is an impossible goal to accomplish. Yet I have reached over 90% of my goal and am hoping that I will reach 100% in the near future. I also realize that I have to maintain that goal every month. My biggest insight is that dreaming big helps me reach for my highest potential. I count my successes, not my failures. It seems easier to remember the negatives and not the positives. When it comes to my exercise goals, I have sometimes found it to be somewhat challenging when I travel because I have to find space where I can exercise. I have learned to be very imaginative about this.

Over the past ten years, I have been taking classes in Chow QiGong meditative exercises based on ancient Chinese healing practices. They consist of one grounding exercise, four warm ups and the Precious Eight exercises. Qi means breath and Gong means work. The focus is on breathing deeply, in and out, as I slowly and meditatively complete the exercises. Each one works a different part of the body. For example, the neck rotation helps release any stiffness or stress I have. If I have a headache, I use this exercise to ease any blocked energy in my neck or forehead. No pills for me! It works every time.

I find that I feel very creative after I finish these exercises. I feel grounded in my life, and my health is improved. I am relaxed but energized to meet each day. Because I feel better physically, I am happy doing my usual daily activities with my family and friends. I feel connected to myself, to my Divine Source and to the universe.

In similar fashion, you can reflect on your success in the past year. Were you happy working on that project? Was it making your life better by building up your self confidence in areas of work or relationships? How does it make you feel? Do you want to continue it or do something new?

You may answer that you were not successful last year. You tried any number of things and you feel discouraged. Can you identify what is making you unhappy? Are you willing to name it, think about it and take action to change it? If you would like to know where to start in terms of taking the necessary action, and making the necessary changes you need to live a more fulfilling life, then you may be interested in reading my book, Quest for Happiness. It gives you a practical three step approach to achieving happiness in your life with a special focus on enriching your significant relationships. Feel free to give a comment in this blog sharing your insights and reflections.

I wish you a Peaceful and Happy 2009.

Until next time,

Bride

Happy 2009

2008-12-31T05:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! How often we hear this greeting as December draws to a close! Whether we plan to make resolutions for the New Year or not, we still make decisions consciously or unconsciously for the next twelve months. Not to decide is to decide, so we are told.

The question here is, “What’s important in your life?” Some people just ‘go with the flow’ while others make agonizing decisions about what’s important to them. Let’s reflect on that for a moment.

What makes you want to get up in the morning? Your children, your job or the money you want to make? Are you looking forward to this coming year, despite the current condition of the economy, global warming, the million of jobs being lost, the wars and poverty in so many countries of the world? In a recent survey, fifty- eight per cent of people voiced that they have hope for the coming year. Two-thirds of them still have confidence that they will have jobs in the New Year.

Do you feel pressured to make resolutions? What is important in your life? As the theme of my book, Quest for Happiness states, we are all on a journey to find happiness. What will that happiness consist of for you? Is it more money, a new relationship, beauty, education, fame, power or security? All of these things are important and are needed by each one of us in some form or another.

In the middle of the third century B.C., Aristotle wrote that “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” This invites us to do some introspection. Several suggestions that I find helpful are:
1. In January, reflect on last year’s successes and think about
building on one or two of those for the coming year.
2. Find out what it is that you really value and are most interested in and work on those things rather than give up something in your life.
3. After reflecting on who you are and what you like about your-
self, choose to make a goal that is measurable, well planned, written down and accountable to a partner or friend.
You may think of others that fit you and your lifestyle. The main thrust is that you want to move forward on your journey, becoming a better person making the world a better place to be because of your gifts and talents, generous in sharing with your family and friends.

Happy New Year!

Celebration of Light and Life

2008-12-17T09:01:00.000-08:00

As we near the end of another year, it is very fitting to look back and reflect upon what we have experienced. For some, it has been a wonderful, very successful and happy year, filled with many accomplishments. For others, it was a year filled with great pain, loss and sorrow because of the death of a loved one or the separation of parents, siblings or children. What is your story?

Each month of December brings together family and friends to celebrate particular holidays. Many travel from far and near to be part of gatherings.

Because we are now in the time of winter and darkness comes so soon in the northern hemisphere, we naturally focus on light. Light is a symbol used all over the world in many religious festivals and holiday get-togethers. It is meant to lift our spirits and create a sense of community for all who are participating in the merriment. Often community festivities set up a display of musical selections to accompany the lights. In religious festivals, singing and dancing, with particular honored readings accompany the lighting of candles. In all, the light is the center of the party or assembly.

As I reflect on this time of year, I realize that here is an opportunity to take some time to look backward but also look forward to the upcoming year. Last New Years gave me a chance to make new resolutions or revamp the old ones. How did I do? Did I actually list one or several and kept them in mind during the year? What am I planning to do this coming year?

The celebrations of light and life are very important for me. The two are intertwined. I love the bright sunshine and all that it brings. The cold and dark of winter makes me appreciate the upcoming spring and summer. Every celebration of light nurtures my soul and helps me focus on the bright colors in the tapestry of my life with family and friends.

May you too celebrate light and life, often in the midst of winter! Keep spring in the sanctuary of your heart!

The Greatest Gift of All

2008-12-06T08:13:00.000-08:00

In my last entry, I discussed being grateful for the many wonderful gifts in our lives. Too often people think of the external gifts that are given at special times when we celebrate one of life’s milestones. Gift giving includes all of these, of course. We all like to be the recipient of another’s love and generosity.

If we stop to consider the purpose of gift giving, we soon realize that when we purchase something for that special someone, we give of ourselves as well. We want the people we love to receive the very best of what this world has to offer. Yet when we search the human heart, we soon come to realize that the most important thing we want is to be loved for who we are and not for what we own or how we look.

Gift giving is characteristic of all cultures. Since the advent of human beings, there has been a tradition of giving gifts. Not only as expressions of love, friendship and gratitude to celebrate happy (and sad) events, gift giving is also used for charity such as providing aid to needy countries in times of misfortune.

Just as children often do, adults can get caught up with the pretty wrapping and decorations, and often forget about the genuine gift inside. Those of us here in North America, as well as others around the globe, are becoming conscious that we need to take care of our earth. One way we can do this is to adopt the wonderful Japanese tradition of cloth wrapping called furoshiki, an ecologically friendly alternative to the millions of tons of wrapping paper and shopping bags sent to landfills.

Take some time to ponder who you are and what gifts you bring to your relationships. If you remember, I suggested that the first one you name is your own special qualities and uniqueness. Your uniqueness and other special qualities are gifts that you are born with, and you also developed special talents as you grew up. Some of your abilities may be those that parents and teachers encouraged on your journey to maturity.

What is the gift you first give yourself? Are you caring, loving and compassionate, and do you forgive yourself when you make mistakes? If you do, in turn, you can show the same gentle kindness to others. They will appreciate a gift wrapped in love and attentiveness.

What other gifts do you bring to your relationships? Are you a cheerful, joyful, laughter-prone individual? When life hands you sour grapes, how do you react? What kind of environment do you create in your world of family and friends? Are you a joy to be around, at least, most of the time?

What if you have no money to buy expensive gifts? Here is a great way to take stock of your own uniqueness. Wrapped in your love and generosity, even the smallest gifts will be welcomed and treasured. Like the little drummer boy, the gift of your self would be the greatest gift of all.

Gratitude

2008-11-27T06:08:00.000-08:00

One of the topics I often find myself writing about in my journal is gratitude. I get to thinking about all the wonderful times, people and events in my life. Actually I once heard someone mention what they called a Bliss Bucket. The idea being that you fill up your bucket throughout your day with the things you are grateful for. Ask yourself this question: Am I able to have it filled to the top every night and give thanks for all the blessings of the day?

As I mentioned in the previous section, a journal can be used to write about the daily successes. Too often it is so easy to list all the failures of the day and become depressed rather than focus on the positive aspects of yourself and the accomplishments that you’ve experienced throughout your day. In October of each year, Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving. Today is the American Thanksgiving. Are you able to list all the things that you can be thankful for at this time in your life?

The Gratitude Theory was recently penned after a scientific study found that gratitude plays a role in our sense of well being. All of us have heard or even sung the song from the Sound of Music called “A Few of My Favorite Things.”

Let’s compose this list. Begin with ten things that you are thankful for. How do you feel? Reread them, really think, feel and recall each experience before going on to the next one. Is laughter listed as one of them? I know of one person who has listed fifty items on their list! Basically, it doesn’t matter how many you name but how many you are truly grateful for. It is my hope that the first one you name is your own special qualities and uniqueness as a gift to be truly thankful for.

As my mother used to say, “Goodness comes home to roost.” For me, the message I got from her was that if you spread goodness and kindness to others, you would receive it in return. For you, I want it to mean that once you realize just how special you are everyone else will begin to see it as well. You will be surprised at what happens in your life when you respect and love yourself first. This wonderful new energy of yours flows out from you: others sense it and pick up on it. You get it back in turn! Isn’t it wonderful?

Begin your Gratitude Log with you and your giftedness, and celebrate this time. I hope you will discover that there are so many things about you and your world to be thankful for!

Until next time,

Bride

Journaling

2008-11-21T19:50:00.000-08:00

In my previous posts, I've mentioned some different methods to use when trying to figure out your life purpose, dreams and goals. One of these techniques is to write them down. A fancy word for that is journaling. It’s similar to the practice of keeping a ship's log which is used to detail the happenings, maintenance, daily weather conditions and ports of call for each vessel during its voyage. But, on a personal level, journaling is so much more than that. You can use it for anything you want such as writing poetry, keeping a favorite recipe or simply recording daily successes in your work, your relationships, or both.

The benefits of journaling are many. Writing down your thoughts can calm your mind of its endless chatter. It is a great focusing tool to help you sort out what’s on your mind, how you want to structure your day, or to list the goals you wish to accomplish. Journaling is also a great forum to vent your feelings especially if you are very angry or depressed. You can pretend that you’re writing to someone and reveal your most intimate thoughts and feelings. That person could be alive or dead; they could be your best friend, or bitter enemy. The main purpose of journaling is to either get rid of the garbage inside you or to express the most beautiful feelings that arise within you.

You can ask yourself simple or complex questions on issues that you are wrestling with at work or in relationships. You can list the pros and cons to answer those questions. Taking the time to stop and look for patterns in your personal or professional life can be enlightening and often uplifting for you. If it is depressing, hopefully it will force you to contemplate the question, “What am I going to do about making my life a happy one?” Maybe you have to list your strengths and weaknesses to give you a sense of what is missing in your life. For example, one observation you can make is: “If I am excellent at my work but a failure in my personal life, how can I apply some of those skills to make my personal life a success?” Answer your own question. It may become the attitude-changing event in your life that will enable you to take action and begin a whole new way of living.

I often use journaling as a form of meditation. In reviewing a number of my past journals, I noted the progress I have made emotionally and spiritually during different stages of my life. Combinations of poetry, prayer and prose are all mixed into what I have thought, felt and experienced at any given time.

You too can use journaling for meditation, for logging successes and accomplishments, and for making note of major changes in your life. Are you still in the same frame of mind today as you were ten years ago? Are you still ‘complaining’ about the same people or events now as you were back then? Journaling helps you to look for patterns in your thinking, feeling and behavior. It also gives you time to yourself especially in a hectic and noisy world.

In my book, Quest for Happiness, you will get an opportunity to journal your answers to questions that I ask in each chapter. I am including guided meditations to further facilitate your personal and spiritual progress. I hope you find these techniques helpful.

Do yourself a favor and take the time to journal. Keep the log book of your journey - your voyage. You won’t regret it in the long haul. Who knows, maybe at the end of a period of time you’ll have written the story of your life- one that you may want to share with your children, grandchildren and the rest of the world!

I'll be writing more in the upcoming week, and in the meantime, I welcome any questions or comments you may have.

Until next time,

Bride

Finding Your Life Purpose

2008-11-15T13:28:00.000-08:00

In my first post and introduction to my blog, I asked several questions that we all ask ourselves at one time or another. “Who am I and where am I going?” is a basic one. Ask yourself that question and begin your answer with “I am______." Off the top of your head, you would say, “I am a business man or a housewife. I am a father or a mother and so on.” Continue the process and dig deeper; brainstorming all the things you think that you are. Begin each sentence with, “I am…” Keep writing until you can’t think of anything else to say. When you have reviewed what you have written, pay attention to its overall tone. Have you described yourself in positive, or negative terms, or is it a combination of both?

This can be a good conversation starter with a close friend or partner. What would they say about you? Would you fear that it would be negative? Would they like to try the same exercise for themselves? Makes you stop and think, doesn't it? Are you honest with yourself and that person? Why or why not?

Let’s go to the second part of the question, “Where am I going?” You could say, “I am going to San Francisco for two weeks or I am going to go crazy if the kids don’t turn down the TV or my husband doesn’t stop using the remote to flick through 100 channels.”

A better question is “As I am journeying on this earth with these people in my life, what is my life purpose, dreams and goals?” Wow! That really makes us sit down and ponder!

As I look back over my life, I can remember being asked a similar question after finishing high school, “What do you want to do with your life?” Ten years ago after finishing a thirty-one year career in the educational field, the question popped up again. Just last May, I began a program that actually focused on “What is my life purpose?”

The key is to identify what gives you life, energy, happiness and makes you want to get up in the morning. Is it running your own business, caring for small children or retiring from a boring job to spend time with your loved ones at the cottage or travelling to see the world? Can you name yours?

In my case, I’ve always wanted to help people so I became a teacher and counselor. Now, I am presently working on my dream to write and publish a book which can help a lot more people than is physically possible for me to reach. Something inside is driving me to get my knowledge and experience on paper. My fear is that it is not what people are interested in. Does this sound familiar to you, and do you also have the same types of fears?

At the bottom of this blog is a place where you can write your comments about what I’ve written. I invite you to be the first to share your story. Tell me how my sharing, and subsequently; how my book may benefit your life.

I look forward to your responses, and wish to thank you in advance, for sharing.

Until next time,

Bride

Quest for Happiness - An Introduction

2008-11-11T17:05:00.000-08:00

From infancy to death, every human being is on a journey, searching for love, for fulfillment, longing for intimacy and finding it, sometimes in the wrong places.

In this modern world of ours, instant gratification is the answer to our every need, so screams the media. Yet, never before in our society, has the human heart cried out for recognition, for peace and happiness. Bigger is better, as in homes, and thinner is desirable, as the ads bombard us. Find happiness with wearing this apparel, driving this vehicle or owning this yacht. Then we will be happy.

Yet when the TV is turned off and the silence is all around us, we question, “Who am I and where am I going? What am I doing in this relationship? Why am I unhappy?” Are these your questions as well? How would you define happiness?

The purpose of this book is to explore all these questions as it relates to you and all the important people in your life. Do you know what your life purpose is? Do you have unfulfilled dreams and goals? What or who, do you feel, is preventing you from living a fulfilled and happy life? Many people have defined happiness and written about it in various books. The definition of happiness is a very personal one, and it has different meanings for each and every one of us.

I would define it as the decision to be responsible for my own joy and recognizing that I have the ability to know my own worth; That I am capable of deep feelings, living responsibly and blissfully, enjoying the freedom of building my own life in a caring and loving way with my family and friends. I can be generous to others because I am uniquely gifted and talented in many ways. I can care for our earth and all its creatures, whether living and non-living, in an atmosphere of peace and harmony with all its inhabitants.

Can you write your own definition of happiness? If not, I can help you explore your life in terms of three steps or approaches that I call the FTA Approach:

You will be given an opportunity to:
1. Identify and examine your feelings with regard to your
present reality. This defines very simply Step 1: FEEL
2. Use various techniques, such as, questioning, journaling, and utilizing guided meditation to hone your thinking abilities and gifts in Step 2: THINK
3. Outline and achieve a detailed, personal plan of action, using available resources to help you accomplish your dreams and goals in life, which is Step 3: ACT.

I will go into more details in my next post. Until then, I welcome any comments or questions!